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2025 · Week 7

T Swift's Baddies Drop a 204-Burger While QAmon Benches an Entire Playoff Team

Week 7 served up a 50-point ass-kicking, an 0.86 heart attack, and a manager who left 67 points rotting on his bench like forgotten leftovers.

Power Rankings

1
▲10
T swift’s Baddies
204.54 with 96.7% efficiency is the kind of week that gets you investigated by the league office.
2
▲8
McBridesStrangeWhiteHock
Dropped 159 and the team's namesake actually showed up — finally a week where the URL matches the result.
3
▲1
Christian McCalfinjury
Won by 26 with 52 bench points — Matt's playing chess, the rest of you are playing checkers and losing.
4
▼2
Little Peckers
Curb-stomped a tomato can for 144 then went out and bought Unc — tell me you're going for it without telling me.
5
▼4
Nut Olave Your Face
Won by less than a point and somehow Big Penix didn't even play — the universe owes Stroud Boys an apology.
6
▼1
The Good Ladds
Quietly rolling — JT goes for 34, Kimani Vidal swung in via trade, and nobody's noticed Mig is 'cooking.'
7
▼4
Egbukkake
149 points and a loss is gross, almost as gross as starting Erick None over basically anyone else.
8
·
QAmon
Scored 153 AND lost by 50 AND left 67 on the bench — Kyle is speedrunning every type of fantasy heartbreak in one week.
9
▲3
Stroud Boys
Lost by 0.86 — somewhere Money Mill$ is laughing in a Houston bar that doesn't exist anymore.
10
▼3
Browning Out
Bo Nix hangs 40 and you still lose by 15 — the team name is becoming a documentary.
11
▼5
Rub My Chubb
Ja'Marr put up 38 and BigD still got cooked, then traded for Carson Wentz like that's gonna fix anything.
12
▼3
OnlyFants
108 points, lowest in the league, subscriber count plummeting — content has officially gone stale.
Match of the Week

Nut Olave Your Face squeaked past Stroud Boys by 0.86 — the football equivalent of slipping on a banana peel and accidentally winning the lottery. Madison Beer's side piece dropped 29.9 to drag Nick across the line while Stroud Boys watched their season tilt on a single garbage-time stat correction. Somewhere bjewett13 is still staring at the box score whispering 'one more yard.'

T Swift's Baddies didn't play a fantasy game this week, they staged a public execution. 204.54 points. Two-oh-four. Gibbs went for 36.8, DeVonta Smith hung 33.3, and Tnicolle hit 96.7% lineup efficiency just to be a dick about it. QAmon, meanwhile, scored 153.76 — a number that wins most weeks — and still got beat by 50 because Kyle decided to run a fantasy clinic in HOW NOT TO SET A LINEUP. Oronde Gadsden (32.9), Jaxson Dart… wait wrong team — Joe Flacco aka King Unc (25.98), and Legettey Bear (24.2) all rotted on the pine. 67.64 bench points. Kyle, brother, just let the auto-set do it next time. Then he traded Kimani Vidal for picks like he's tanking a season he's somehow still alive in.

Christian McCalfinjury beat Rub My Chubb behind a vintage 39.1 from the actual McCaffrey, but Matt also left Jaxson Dart's 29.42 AND Dalton Schultz's 23.3 on the bench — a combined 52 points of 'I forgot I had a phone.' BigD's only consolation: Ja'Marr Chase went full nuclear with 38.1 in a losing effort. Cool, enjoy the moral victory.

Little Peckers curb-stomped OnlyFants by 36, then immediately went and traded for Unc (Aaron Jones) because apparently 144 wasn't enough. ChrisCubby's 108 was the lowest score of the week — OnlyFants is starting to feel less like a team name and more like a content warning.

McBridesStrangeWhiteHock outdueled Egbukkake 159-149 in a track meet where Trey McBride finally justified the team name with 34.4. Szara got 28.9 from Herbert's Butt Buddy and STILL lost — the Mascot couldn't bail him out this time.

The Good Ladds handled Browning Out despite Bo Nix dropping 39.96 in a losing effort, because Jonathan Taylor said 'fine, I'll do it myself' for 34.2. Patrick, your QB went supernova and you still lost by 15. That's a special kind of pain.

Weekly Awards

Bench Coach of the Year
QAmon

67.64 points on the bench is not a lineup, it's a hostage situation — Gadsden, King Unc, and Legettey Bear all watched their team lose by 50 in HD.

204 Club
T swift’s Baddies

When you put up two bills with 96.7% efficiency, the only correct response from the league is to stop scheduling you.

40-Burger, Zero Sympathy
Browning Out

Bo Nix dropped 39.96 and Patrick still found a way to lose by 15 — that's a wasted nuke.

Pyrrhic Victory Tour
Rub My Chubb

Ja'Marr Chase 38.1 in a loss, then trades for Carson Wentz — BigD is two moves into a five-step plan toward irrelevance.