Hot Cocks Bust 166, Stroud Boys Bust a Nut on Their Own Bench

Let's start with the crime scene in Stroud Boys' lineup. BJ scored 100.58, won his game against MassiveCocks, and somehow left 56.60 points on the bench — that's not a lineup, that's a hostage situation. Jonnu Smith (26.1) and Javonte Williams (26.1) were both rotting in the cooler while BJ trotted out warm bodies. Optimal score: 157.18. Congrats on the W, you absolute coward — you beat 7BigPapi7's 83.98, which is the fantasy equivalent of beating your little cousin in 1v1.

Meanwhile T swift's Baddies smashed LargestofRocks behind a Lamar Jackson (34.44) and Jahmyr Gibbs (32.0) detonation, and LargestofRocks somehow still hit 120 because Breece went for 26.1. The catch? Rachaad White put up 29.1 on the bench. Two managers in one week leaving 25+ point RBs on the pine — get a damn lineup-setting reminder app, gentlemen.

OnlyFants curb-stomped 226 Alpha by 35.58, and Cubby didn't even need to sweat — Szara's David Njoku went nuclear for 28.60 and it didn't matter, especially because Russell Wilson dropped 24.86 from the bench like a guy paying for dinner with monopoly money. That's a full-on managerial L, Szara.

The Good Ladds edged Bo Nix Celli 120.82 to 112.72 in the closest game of the week, and Celli's 98.7% lineup efficiency is the saddest stat on this page — peak optimization, still lost. Brock Bowers went 24.3 for nothing.

Jets' Juniors and The Olave Garden played a game so ugly it should be illegal — 88 to 78, the lowest score of the week courtesy of Patrickreegs, who apparently confused his lineup with his grocery list. Derrick Henry's 25.2 carried Wunder to a win in what felt like a Thursday night JV scrimmage.