LargestofRocks Drops 188, MassiveCocks Drop Their Pants

Week 6 had one team set the league on fire and another forget which players to actually start.

Power Rankings

▲9

LargestofRocks

188 points and 96% efficiency — the only criticism is that he made the rest of the league look like a JUCO showcase.

▲1

Hot Cocks

Three guys over 25 points and a 172 burger — BigD is cooking and the kitchen smells illegal.

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T swift's Baddies

Quietly dropped 135 and lapped MassiveCocks by 48 without breaking a sweat or a nail.

The Good Ladds

Cole Kmet hung 26 and Mig stole Etienne in the same week — somebody check this man's browser history for insider info.

▲1

OnlyFants

Survived Olave Garden by a breadstick, but a W is a W when you're scrapping for playoff seeding.

▼1

The Olave Garden

145 points and still lost — the most heartbreaking salad bar in the league.

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Jets' Juniors

Won by 2.18 because Szara forgot to start half his bench, not because Wunder did anything special.

▼6

Bo Nix Celli

Caleb and Bijan combined for 55 and you still lost by 32 — the supporting cast is staging a walkout.

▲3

226 Alpha

Left 41 points of WRs on the bench in a 2-point loss, then traded for Pittman like that solves anything.

▲1

Put an AR to My Head

90 points in SuperFlex is the fantasy equivalent of forfeiting and asking for the participation trophy.

▼3

Stroud Boys

103 points against a buzzsaw — Jewett's season is starting to smell like a gym bag in July.

▼5

MassiveCocks

Optimal lineup was 141, started 87 — the name's MassiveCocks but the lineup management is microscopic.

Match of the Week

Jets' Juniors squeaked by 226 Alpha 128.34 to 126.16 in a game decided by literal pocket lint. Szara left DeMario Douglas (21.2) AND Romeo Doubs (19.9) on the bench in a TWO-POINT loss — 41 points of wideouts watching from the couch. Wunder didn't win this game so much as Szara handed it to him gift-wrapped with a bow.

LargestofRocks didn't play a fantasy game this week, he played 2K on rookie mode. 187.96 points, 96% lineup efficiency, Chris Godwin going full nuclear for 35.5, and Stroud Boys getting curb-stomped by 84.72. Jewett scored 103 and somehow that was the SECOND most embarrassing thing to happen to him this week. Get this man a mercy rule.

Meanwhile, MassiveCocks turned in the performance of the year — for a JV team. 87.06 points with 54 points rotting on the bench. Evan Engram dropped 23.2 in street clothes while whoever you started at TE contributed roughly the GDP of a parking meter. T Swift's Baddies didn't even need to try and still hung 135 on you. Tnicolle showed up with a sandwich and you forgot to bring a plate.

Hot Cocks went full Florida Man on Bo Nix Celli, riding Baker Mayfield (28.9), Mixon (27.2), and Kittle (25.3) to a 172-point beatdown. Nickcelli got 29.6 from Caleb Williams and 25.5 from Bijan and STILL lost by 32 — that's the fantasy equivalent of bringing a bazooka to a gunfight and getting nuked.

The Good Ladds drilled Put an AR to My Head 129 to 90, with Cole Kmet of all people going for 26.5 at TE. Kyle, your team scored 90 points in a SuperFlex league. That's not a lineup, that's a hostage situation. Goff put up 25 and got zero help — you're paying for a penthouse and living in the stairwell.

OnlyFants survived The Olave Garden by 4.24 in the only game of the week that wasn't decided by halftime, and Mig completed the trade-and-win combo by snagging Travis Etienne mid-victory lap. Szara countering with Michael Pittman is like trading a Honda for a slightly older Honda.

Weekly Awards

Demolition Derby MVP

LargestofRocks

An 84-point beatdown with 96% efficiency — bro just cheat-coded Week 6.

Bench Warmer of the Year

MassiveCocks

54 points on the pine including a 23-burger from Engram — start your studs, my guy.

Wasted Effort Trophy

Bo Nix Celli

140 points, two studs over 25, and a loss by 32 — that's just unlucky and dumb at the same time.

Squeaker of the Week

Jets' Juniors

Won by 2.18 thanks entirely to 226 Alpha's lineup malpractice — cash the check, don't ask questions.