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2024 · Week 2

Week 2: Tnicolle Drops a 173 Bomb While Mig Forgets He's in a League

T swift's Baddies hung a buck-seventy-three on The Good Ladds and somehow that wasn't even the most embarrassing thing Mig did this week.

Power Rankings

1
▲5
T swift's Baddies
Hung 173 with Cook and Adams cooking — the rest of the league should consider forfeiting now and saving the gas money.
2
▲7
The Olave Garden
Kamara's 44-burger was so loud you forgot Patrick benched a 29.5 from Achane like a complete psychopath.
3
▲8
Stroud Boys
97.9% lineup efficiency and MHJ going nuclear — Jewett is the only guy in this league who reads his own roster.
4
·
Jets' Juniors
151 points and a Nico Collins explosion has Wunder sneakily 2-0 while nobody's looking.
5
▼3
LargestofRocks
Won by 37 and somehow left 43 points on the bench between Q-John and Darnold — imagine the ceiling if you actually tried.
6
▼3
Put an AR to My Head
Survived OnlyFants by 11 with Derek Carr's 22.82 collecting splinters — the W counts but the process is criminal.
7
·
Bo Nix Celli
134 points is a respectable L, but naming your team after Bo Nix is its own kind of self-harm.
8
▲4
OnlyFants
Cubby put up 117 in a loss — close enough to feel the heartbreak, far enough to stay mid.
9
▼8
Hot Cocks
116 points and got rolled — your team name is doing more work than your flex.
10
▼5
226 Alpha
Hurts dropped 24.82 and the rest of the roster was on a milk carton — Szara needs a search party.
11
▼1
MassiveCocks
93.34 is the lowest score of the week even WITH Nabers going for 28.7 — that's an indictment of every other lineup slot.
12
▼4
The Good Ladds
Scored exactly 100, lost by 73, and benched 37.8 points — a Mig hat trick of misery.
Match of the Week

Put an AR to My Head squeaked by OnlyFants 129-117 in the only game that didn't end with somebody crying into their waiver wire. DK Metcalf went for 28.9 and Kyle still left 22.82 from Derek Carr rotting on the pine — imagine winning a coin flip with your QB2 outscoring half the league from the bench. Cubby loses by 11 and gets nothing but a participation sticker.

Let's start with the crime scene at 100 Good Ladds Lane. Mig put up a flat 100.00 — like he was scared to round up — while leaving 37.80 points on the bench, including a 22.9 from Hunter Henry he apparently forgot existed. Kyler Murray dropped 28.54 for him and it didn't matter because Tnicolle was across the field detonating a 173.32 nuke behind James Cook (28.5) and Davante Adams (26). That's not a loss, that's a hate crime by 73.32.

Meanwhile in The Olave Garden, Patrick rode Alvin Kamara's absolutely deranged 44-spot to a 154.80 beatdown of MassiveCocks, who mustered a league-low 93.34 despite Malik Nabers going for 28.7. Papi, your stud WR went off and you still got embarrassed by a guy whose bench had De'Von Achane casually dropping 29.50. Patrick won by 61 and STILL had the worst manager move of the week. Bench Achane again, coward.

Stroud Boys posted the best lineup efficiency of the week at 97.9% — Marvin Harrison's 29 doing heavy lifting — and sent Hot Cocks home 149-116. BigD, your team is named Hot Cocks and you scored 116, do the math.

LargestofRocks rolled 226 Alpha 140-103, which sounds great until you realize he left Quentin Johnston (22.1) AND Sam Darnold (20.92) on his bench. Dude won by 37 with 43 points stapled to the pine. Szara, Jalen Hurts went for 24.82 and your supporting cast still showed up like it was a fire drill.

Jets' Juniors handled Bo Nix Celli 151-134 behind Nico Collins' 27.5, and Celli's Chris Godwin 24.7 was the only thing keeping him from being a Week 2 cautionary tale. Wunder looking dangerous, Nick looking like a guy who drafted his team name first and his roster second.

Weekly Awards

Manslaughter of the Week
T swift's Baddies

73.32-point margin is less a fantasy win and more grounds for a restraining order.

Bench Warmer Hall of Shame
The Olave Garden

Won by 61 and STILL benched a 29.5 from Achane — Patrick is allergic to optimal lineups.

Round Number Award
The Good Ladds

Scored a perfect 100.00 like he was trying to hit a bowling score, not win a fantasy game.

Workplace Safety Violation
MassiveCocks

Lowest score of the week at 93.34 — Papi's lineup needs OSHA on speed dial.