Week 10: Ja'Marr Chase Personally Files A Restraining Order Against The Rest Of The League

Let's start where the carnage started: Ja'Marr Chase went thermonuclear for 55.40 and Hot Cocks posted a perfect 100% efficiency 173.68, which is the fantasy equivalent of dunking on a 7-year-old and then stealing his lunch money. Meanwhile LargestofRocks scored 122 — a winning number in most weeks — and still got curb-stomped by 51 because he benched a 19-point Will Levis and a 19-point Rachaad White. Bro, you had the optimal score of 161 sitting in your pocket and chose violence against yourself.

Over in Sadness Corner, Put an AR to My Head mustered a league-low 98.18 while Derek Carr dropped 20.46 on his bench. KyleDech, you're not just losing — you're losing CREATIVELY. The Olave Garden hung 150.72 on him with Burrow (33.72) and Kelce (24.40) doing Burrow-and-Kelce things, and Patrick didn't even need to break a sweat.

226 Alpha smoked Bo Nix Celli 149-106 behind Hurts' 30.68, though Celli at least got 29.40 from Bijan and a random 25.90 MVS spike that nobody saw coming, including MVS's own quarterback. The Good Ladds rode Kyler's 28.74 to a 128-107 win over MassiveCocks, because of course Mig found the one week Kyler decides to remember he's an MVP. T Swift's Baddies edged OnlyFants 130-113 behind Lamar's 32.90 — Cubby, your team is good and you still can't beat the Swifties, that's gotta sting.

And in the Sleepy Bowl of the Week, Jets' Juniors beat Stroud Boys 118-98 in a game so aesthetically offensive it should've been blacked out locally. Calvin Ridley's 25.40 was the only thing keeping Wunder's win from being deeply embarrassing. Stroud Boys, meanwhile, left Metchie's 18.40 on the bench — fitting punishment for naming your team after the QB you can't even start anymore.